#nutcracker review

[shinyzango]

So, about that "A Steampunk Carol" graphic novel...

I totally did not forget to make the post about it like I promised I am so sorry.

For those who are not familiar with it, long story short a while ago I came across a Kickstarter project for what seemed to be a steampunk adaptation of the Nutcracker story and was bummed that I missed out on it and wasn't able to support and secure a copy for myself, but a fella made me aware that it did actually get published in Italy a few years ago, and that it was sold on Amazon. And after discovering that there was literally only one copy left, I bought it on a whim to both read it and to hopefully attract more attention to it for reasons I'll discuss in just a bit.

I'm just going to say that I'm very back at writing reviews so apologies if this doesn't say anything at the end or if you didn't get the answers to your questions dkfjgn

Alright, now for the book itself.

First things first, the story. I won't go into details right now as I do not want to spoil folks in case this does get released in english to a wider public, but I can add a Spoilers section in the future where I explain in detail what happens if I get asked about it.

The story, like I said, is an adaptation of the Nutcracker And The Mouse King, but it is quite different in many elements, and spices things up quite a bit, especially after the introduction.

Sadly it feels quite rushed in its execution imo, I assume it's because they had to fit everything in a single volume. Which is a shame because there are many concepts and ideas that are very fascinating and interesting, both for the plot and for the characters themselves.

Speaking of the characters, they are quite unique and interesting.

The main kid, Caitlin, who is the Clara/Marie of the story, can be a little sassy, but she still feels grounded and has a good balance between putting down her foot and being nervous about the situation. I don't mind her character.

The Nutcracker, who is only called Schiaccia (just a shortened "Schiaccianoci" which is nutcracker in italian. I assume he's called Cracker in english if they kept that logic), feels solid. He's a loyal soldier, skilled but does show hints of insecurities. A good lad.

The mice are great as well, I'm really intrigued by the lore they cooked up for them, and the Mouse King is actually not bad, and I like what they did with his character.

There's also another supporting character, a tin soldier who goes by Sergeant Idle. He is basically a companion to the Nutcracker. He is basically a plot tool, helping with the backstory and moving the story forward, but not in a bad way. He's very enjoyable.

I would have loved to see them all explored further, but like I said it all feels rushed probably because it had to stick all in a single volume. I don't know if the authors ever considered this to become a series or if it's just a one-shot story, but I would honestly love to see this evolve into a series, if only because I love the characters and I would love to know more about the lore they cooked up for it more in detail, letting all the elements have the time to shine.

Moving on to the graphic...

I love Lorenza's art style. It looks very sketchy, with a clean roughness to it if that makes sense. And I really like all the designs of the characters.

(Apologies for the glares, I tried my hardest to limit them as much as possible. also ngl I'm giggling a little seeing how Schiaccia looks similar to my Hans skdfkjhn)

All in all, I really like this adaptation. It's unique and enjoyable, if only a little rushed.

Like I mentioned before, this was Kickstarted a while ago to get properly published in english. It was successfully funded and as far as I know, they're currently in the process of printing copies if not even shipping them for the backers. I still don't know if the folks at Last Ember Press are planning in making it available to purchase outsite the Kickstart, but I really hope so because I do think this deserves to be available to everyone.

[imsparky2002]

Barbie in the Nutcracker: First Thoughts

The following is my thoughts while watching this for the first time.

Credits look awful. Still, it’s 2001 and this is the first installment so I’ll give it a pass.

Only know the basic Nutcracker song and theme but nice that it uses an orchestra

Barbie herself doesn’t look too bad but her little sis… yikes.

Kinda weird to see these dolls moving like mocap performers.

Heh! Barbie’s voice actor has the same name as her little sister.

Kelly very clearly sounds like an adult woman trying to do a kiddish voice.

Lipsyncing is odd, looks more like generic flapping.

Surprisingly decent snow effects.

I’m assuming Clara’s parents are either dead or abandoned them. Or they could also just be on vacation.

Is it wrong that I find Grandpa cute? Gives off a very distinguished vibe. Especially that voice.

They call gingerbread houses “christmas boxes”? That’s… interesting.

Kinda wish they gave Clara a different voice from Barbie, or at the very least a different hairstyle.

The lighting is actually pretty good! Nice warm hues, makes me feel like I’m at a cozy inn.

Her little brother looks like the kids who played Fortnite and would tease me in high school. Of course his name is fuckin’ Tommy.

This CGI is reminding me of early PS2 cutscenes.

Aunt Drosselmayer’s got that 90’s Leo DiCaprio/Hugh Grant parting in her hair. Bleh.

Why is Clara the only blonde in the family?

Ooh! We’ve got some family drama between Auntie and Grandpa. This is getting juicy.

Elizabeth is giving me confident bisexual vibes with the voice and manner of movement. Bet you that’s why Grandpa doesn’t trust her.

Looking at the wiki I just found out that Trixie’s VA voices the Aunt, Starlight’s VA is Barbie and Cadence’s VA is one of the kids! Must be a Canadian production.

I will never not find the word “nutcracker” to be hilarious.

Clara, why tf are you fighting over a toy with your lil brother? You’re like… 17? 18? I dunno but it’s way too old.

Seriously they gave Tommy the most punchable face ever. Not that I’d ever punch a kid but I can see why other kids his age would deck him.

Magic shenanigans are ensuing.

I like the medeival look of the rats. The CGI actually fits them well.

Clara wakes up to see an anthropomorphic warrior rat right next to her eating something and is just like “goddamn it, git ya varmint!” I love it.

Oh, she thinks she’s dreaming. That makes sense to why she’s so calm.

Hmm… I feel like the Rat King should look a bit more evil, and larger as well. Still, TIM CURRY! I’m gonna LOVE this.

Woah! We’re getting a fight scene! A swordfighting scene to be exact!

Oooh the Rat King’s magic and can shapeshift his weapon. That’s metal AF.

Tim Curry putting everything into his performance as usual.

I’m kinda surprised we’re already getting a Nutcracker-Rat King battle. I’d have thought they’d save that sorta thing until the third act.

Did they really have to change it to Sugarplum Princess? Fairy just sounds more powerful.

Wow! This snowy cave is beautiful! Something out of a classic painting.

EWWW THESE LIL SNOW FAIRIES LOOK DISGUSTING!

Did this nutfucker not realize that an icy fortress would have ice for the walls?

The fairies doing ballet looks weird because they have nothing to stand on.

Please don’t tell me the small fairy is staying, I hate her.

Dance is currently reminding me of Fantasia.

“The fairies probably went off to make a blizzard somewhere”. The way he said that nonchalantly had me cackling.

The effect of Clara’s footsteps turning into flowers is beautiful.

Pimm sounds like he’s an absolute troll online. Also gives me Psychicpebbles vibes (though I know it’s not him).

Wow the Rat King is a straight up genocider.

Why do all the kids look like Kelly?

OH DEAR GOD THAT LITTLE BOY LOOKS HORRIFYING.

Wait Prince Eric? Are they legally allowed to call him that? We all know how much Disney loves copyrights.

Man these kids are little shits and their outfits are gagworthy.

Major Mint definitely got a big personality, and the voice actor does a good job with it.

Ok Mint is hilarious and is so far the best part of the movie.

Nice to see some Asian rep with Captain Candy.

Wow, Rat King turns his failed employees into stone. Dark!

The zoom in on the Rat King as he says “that’s it?” made me giggle.

Thomas Astruc looked at the Rock Golem and got his first idea for an akuma.

Wait how the hell does Clara know that the Nutcracker is Prince Eric? I mean I already assumed because of the plot of the original ballet, but how does she know?!

The bridge scene gives me the willies, since I’m afraid of heights.

Wow this flower fairy is the only kid-looking character that has a decent design.

Didn’t expect a song to be interrupted by an enemy.

Lol, the Major’s monocle falls off as he sees the giant.

Glad to see the fairies serve a purpose other than dancing. Kick that giant’s ass!

Captain Candy’s a better man than Mint, as he actually makes sure that he gets saved.

Once again, the island is beautiful! Reminds me of Oz with the colored roads.

Ooh clever! At first I thought the castle’s backdrop looked really fake but I just factored it was because it’s 2001 CGI. But it was actually a trap!

Nice we see a test of Clara’s character that she passed.

The invisble hand touching Clara’s hand is actually making me feel kinda teary-eyed internally.

The Rat King definitely has a Napoleon complex.

Loving the character arc for Nutcracker with his final duel.

Ah! So now the Rat King is growing. Fits for the climax.

Huh… Prince Eric looks more like Jimmy Pesto than a prince.

Lol Major Mint realizes he’s been shittalking the prince.

Huh, so Clara’s the princess? I guess it sorta makes sense since it’s her dream.

For those princes out there who are hated by the public, all ya gotta do is fight a giant mouse.

Mint and Candy got the moves! Best dancers of the entire movie.

The final dance between Eric and Clara is absolutely gorgeous.

The villain was taken down by a snowball… I love it.

God Kelly Sheridan and Kirby Morrow really put everything into the scene where Clara disappears.

Lol Kelly’s Canana accent shows up when she says “It’s not a story”.

“What’s all this foolishness about mice kings and bats, Clara? Enough of your womenly hysteria! Time for a lobotomy!” Grandpa, basically.

Actually now that he’s in a suit, Eric looks a lot hotter.

I’m surprised Barbie’s little sister had the attention span to listen to a 1 hour story.

I'll be making a full review of the film soon. Let me know thoughts in the comments and reblogs. @artzychic27 @msweebyness

[ladylilacshyne]

Barbie in the Nutcracker

Just finished watching The Nutcracker again and I forgot how beautiful the movie was, the animation really feels so dreamy and magical to me. I loved the transformation scene and the nutcracker dress might be my favourite transformation dress. The glittery pink skirt and the sheer overlay, the way it moves in the dance scene makes it look like its made of light, I love the little puffy things around her arms too. 

I loved the dancing in the movie and kinda miss that in the new generation of barbie movies, it really made me love classical music. 

[oracleofmadness]

This is a haunting and chilling take on the beautiful ballet The Nutcracker. The sumptuous style of writing used in this story details every creepy piece of this world and its characters. It's a very strange take on the classic, but I couldn't resist this delight.

At times, the story seemed to jump from place to place rather quickly, but it retained the same sinister vibe throughout which held this world together. This is definitely an interesting read!

Out November 28, 2023!

Thank you, Netgalley and Publisher, for this Arc!

[highflyartist]

Welp-

I am in tears.

I am actually crying-

Wanna know why?

CUZ OF THE NEW SELF-PUBLISHED BOOK I BOUGHT!!

--

Clara & The Nutcracker is supposedly a sequel to the og story written by @kaleidraws

This is the second self-published book I bought; the first one being Hidden Flames by ToonyFando

I heard about it and I wanted to read it so badly, but it cost a lot of money. So I waited and waited AND WAITED and then my grandma gave me a digital amazon gift card with 50 bucks.

So I did the thing I always wanted to do. I bought the book. It arrived today and it took me 2 hours to read this thing and let me tell you-

IT WAS WORTH IT!!

--

I loved the hell out of this story and I freaking couldn't stop going back to each chapter, wondering "OMFG did he/she really do that?!"

I was so into the story that even though I had set goals to take a break after a couple chapters, I just couldn't stop reading! My curiosity peaked at its highest!

The story plot, the characters, like all of this stuff that happened 20 years later after the og story was mindblowing!

As usual, I won't give out spoilers but if you want a book that reminds you of the classic tales of E.T.A. Hoffmann along with more adventure and exciting and heart-wrenching moments that happened, I recommend this book cuz holy shit!

✨I LOVED IT✨

--

If you wanna buy a paperback copy (like I did), they're on sale on Amazon:

If you want the Ebook Version, it's on Amazon Kindle. (Surprisingly, it's free on Kindle-)

--

OVERALL REVIEW SCORE OF CLARA & THE NUTCRACKER:

10 out of 5 Stars

Cuz I loved this story to heck! This is just amazing! (God makes me wanna draw more fanart of this story)

--

Clara & The Nutcracker was written by @kaleidraws

*Disclaimer: This review is my personal opinion only.

[diamond-dangeresque]

finally got to see Nutcracker Fantasy and in its original Japanese!

having watched this after finishing Utena, however, i can safely say:

[bookliteratibookreviews]

The Kingdom of Sweets by Erika Johansen

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bantam (30 Nov. 2023)Language ‏ : ‎ EnglishHardcover ‏ : ‎ 368 pagesISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1787632369ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1787632363 Book Blurb Light and dark – this is the destiny placed upon Natasha and Clara, the birthright bestowed on them by their godfather, the mysterious sorcerer Drosselmeyer. Clara, the favourite, grows into beauty and ease, while Natasha is cursed to live in her…

[ellie88-blog-blog]

Care Bears Nutcracker Suite

The author shares their fondness for the 1988 "Care Bears Nutcracker Suite" movie adapted from Tchaikovsky's ballet. The author praises the voice acting, animation quality, and unique storytelling woven with engaging characters and delightful humor.

Now I may be out on a limb here, but I loved the Care Bears when I was a kid. It was probably my first favorite show. If you’re a Care Bears fan, then you know that in 1988 a made for the TV movie, adapted from the 1982 Tchaikovsky ballet, “Care Bears Nutcracker Suite” was released. Most people I know have never heard of it, though I was so obsessed with it, I watched it year-round, never…

[readerviews]

"Return of the Nutcracker Prince" by Jasmine C. Caldwell

A Clever and Entertaining Holiday Romance #books #bookreview #reading #readerviews

Return of the Nutcracker Prince Jasmine C. CaldwellSteam Heat Press (2023)ISBN:  978-1962115056Reviewed by Tammy Ruggles for Reader Views (11/2023) “Return of the Nutcracker Prince: A Steamy Historical Holiday Fantasy Romance” by Jasmine C. Caldwell is a magical holiday romance fairytale that begs the question, What if the ballet was just the beginning? We begin this finely-woven story with…

[clarktooncrossing]

Giraffe's Eye View: Christmas Specials Special (2023) | Care Bears Nutcracker

Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. All the dogs in the neighborhood somehow learned to bark Jingle Bells in sync. Yet retail workers are still more annoyed with Mariah Carey. Snow is getting shoveled, tossed, and formed into sentient beings leading parades without permits. It makes for an excellent distraction as the Krampus abducts children for bad behavior. Fruitcake is exchanged only to find its permanent home in the garbage. Terrorists have hijacked the Holiday office party right before your boss can give you a Jelly of the Month Club membership as your bonus. And of course, the Turducken has returned to wreak its fiery vengeance upon an unsuspecting world! If all this doesn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, perhaps these following Holiday specials will!

Greetings people of today and robots of tomorrow! It is I, Santa Clark, your geeky giraffe friend with a deep love of Christmas! My obsession for the yuletide is rivaled only by Maleficent’s hatred for it, which is saying a lot considering she once teamed up with Mad Madam Mim to kidnap the literal Spirit of Christmas. Yes, that really happened. I know this due to my annual pilgrimage to the Island of Misfit Specials, home to obscure or nerdy festive media ranging from movies, TV episodes, and comics. It’s no easy journey. Constantly I find myself confronted by sinister snowmen, genocidal gingerbread men, and worst of all, crappy commercials. Getting stabbed in the foot by a candy-cane wielding cookie is one thing, but I swear I’ve seen that ad for Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium more times than I’ve seen Miracle on 34th Street! Sometimes at night I catch myself reciting that jingle. Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium: Where Christmas meets Convenience! Huh, maybe Maleficent had a point.

Nah, my deep-rooted appreciation for this time of year can weather even the most moronic marketing! It helps that most of the merry media I’ve seen have put me in the perfect Holiday mood! Examples include the time a Ninja Turtle found himself trapped in a truck full of stollen toys, a drunk department store Santa stumbling onto a wish-granting magic bag, Big Bird nearly becoming a popsicle, Gwenpool waking up in a world where Galactus took the place of jolly ol’ Saint Nicholas, a terrifying tree stump trying to slaughter some saps over a stupid ship war, and the year when Death gave the Little Match Girl the greatest gift of all. Needless to say, I thought I had seen it all. That is, until I took my friends on a trip to the Island, tasking them to find me new, strange, seasonal specials to review! Some of them were fair, finding me festive favorites as comforting as coco in front of the fireplace. Others were fiendish, wanting to feed off my misery like Gremlins after midnight. Regardless of how naughty or nice my companions were, I’ve compiled all of their suggestions into a makeshift advent calendar! So stay tuned everyday until Christmas to see how badly my buddies can shred what little sanity I have left.

On the second day of Christmas, my buddies gave to me...

For the record, it says something when nobody's even made a GIF for what I'm about to review.

Malicious as Molly was, she may have set the bar too high with Barbie. For along comes the fairy Claire (YourClairyGodmother), set on proving that the ‘all Canadians are friendly’ claim is a myth. Having recently reviewed a slew of their work herself, she saw fit to share her suffering with me by burdening me with a Care Bears Christmas caper of my choice. Oh how nice, my executioner allowed me to pick how I get to die! Mirroring Grumpy Bear’s dour attitude, I scoured the Care Bears Wiki to make my selection, all the while wondering how this franchise is still alive after all this time. Starting out in 1981 as greeting card characters, these bears became a beloved series of plush toys parents killed each other over at Black Friday’s. Not gonna lie, having Sinbad and Arnie fight over Funshine Bear would’ve made Jingle all the Way that much funnier. It’d certainly be more entertaining then what I ended up picking, that being Care Bears Nutcracker Suite. Dear Santa, I don’t remember asking for endless torment. At this rate getting my nuts cracked probably wouldn’t be as excruciating. Still, perhaps I’m being pessimistic. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and jump right in! After all, these bears beat out Black Cauldron at the box office. Surely they have something special to offer here.

Like terrible child voice actors. We’ve got those in spades here! Okay, I know it’s not nice to call out kids who are only here because of parental peer pressure, but A Charlie Brown Christmas set the bar so high two decades prior! Though to be fair, maybe this is like Hayden Christensen regaling Padme about sand. You can only do so much when the script serves you verbal fruitcake on a platter. Such as when one of the kids, tricked into portraying the Rat King in an elementary production of the ballet by his sister, rightfully laments how lame the show is. Seeing one of her students complaining, our blonde ballet instructor halts class in order to tell a self-insert fanfiction where she herself is Clara. Whoa, deja vuh.

For all of you fearful that this is going to get repetitive, put your worries at ease. The writers made no effort to make the narrative comprehensive here. Instead of a mysterious family member, our Young Clara stand-in Anna (Tara Strong) is visited by Funshine Bear (Susan Roman) and Grumpy (Bob Dermer). Right as they tumble down the chimney ready to help this privileged dork with whatever first world problem she has, a dimensional rift abruptly appears in her room, dropping out the titular Nutcracker (Michael Beattie) and an army of rats. Sadly this time they’re not led by Tim Curry and they’re even less intimidating than before. Whereas previously they at least had swords, now they rush forward into battle with nothing but the clothes on their back. As if that wasn’t idiotic enough, they’re easily frightened off by the two bears and Anna’s younger brother Peter (Stuart Stone) in a trench coat. Wow, I was wondering how they’d top the Mouse King getting taken out by a shrunken woman’s flimsy footwear. You fail at failing to disappoint, Care Bears. Good to know I don’t need to take any of the villains seriously. By chance is it too late to bring back that creepy book lady from the movie? She’d be a better foe than the Vizier (Don Francks), a Jafar wannabe decked out in purple that commands the cowardly vermin. He’s after the Nutcracker so he can, you guessed it, take over the world and ruin Christmas. How he’d ruin Christmas is never explained, though I doubt whatever logic they presented would’ve made sense anyway.

Regardless of the reason, our heroes elect to help Nutcracker in his quest to stop the Vizier, enlisting some Care Bears Cousins to help. Though really I assume it’s to expose kids to more toys they can buy, since Funshine and Grumpy managed to make an entire armada run away in fear. Why else bring in Brave Heart Lion (Dan Hennessey) or Lotsa Heart Elephant (Luba Goy) if not for promotional purposes? Remember kiddies, pester your parents into buying these new friends or else you’ll be a sad loser! Together with Baby Tugs (Melleny Brown) and Hugs (Tracey Moore), they leap into the dimensional portal to restore order to Toyland. Along the way they encounter a bunch of cranky citizens blaming the Vizier’s rise to power on a prince named Alan. Whoa, deja vuh times two. Before anybody asks, yes, once again the Nutcracker is clearly the missing monarch. The rest of our heroes only find out after battling more rodents on a runaway train, meeting a magical fairy that’s as useless as the owl, and getting turned into wood by the Vizier. Our story ends with the titular toy’s humanity easily being restored, the villains being beheaded for war crimes, and the ballet class from earlier never really putting on their pageant as their teacher Anna walks off with her boi toi. Whoa, deja vuh times three. All while the Care Bears watch on from the raptors, waiting to pick the kids off one by one for sport.

Do I even have to say it? Honestly, what point is there in me picking out the flaws? It’d be like stating how pretty Christmas lights are, there’s no purpose in proclaiming something so patent. For the sake of keeping you all from searching up this sugary-coated crap though, I’ll list off my reasons. The pacing was painfully slow, making this extended episode feel like the director’s cut of a Peter Jackson movie. Replacing the charismatic, complex characters of those works are cardboard cutouts who are criminally one-dimensional. Even Grumpy, who I maintain is the best character in this series, feels so one-note. Worst of all is the animation. Much as I dogged out Barbie Nutcracker, I can applaud the ambition on display. Somebody clearly put some effort into the final product. At no time did I feel the same could be said for this. This was some paycheck for an animator who clearly wanted nothing to do with these blasted bears. And if all the behind the scenes stories Claire told me are any indication, I might not be too far off. Needless to say, I did not care for this special. I also didn’t care for you suggesting it to me, Claire! So when Seerius dumps something rotten into your stocking, just know that’s from me! For now though, I need a better Holiday special featuring a character voiced by Tara Strong. 

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[rye-views]

Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001) dir. Owen Hurley. 6.8/10

I would not recommend this movie to my friends. I would not rewatch this movie.

Prince Eric could've been ugly for all we know.

That sling was cute.

I'm getting Redwall vibes with the Mouse King and Frozen vibes from several moments.

I do not like the voices for Mouse King and Pimm. It's annoying.

Pimm looks like a rat in cosplay.

Poor rat soldiers for being so scared.

[marylovemew]

Real Nancy fans eat at Yogurt Heaven

If u know u know 😤

[thegraveyardslotpodcast]

Did Barbie in the Nutcracker do Tchaikovsky justice? 🎻🏰🩰

[azazel-dreams]

Barbie in The Nutcracker

Rating: ❤️❤️ ❤️❤️ ❤

[davidsheley]

The Stunning Conclusion

You don't want to miss this conclusion to Drosselmeyer's story!

If you’ve seen at least one of my blog posts, you know that Paul Thompson’s Nutcracker trilogy is an ever-present topic. You’ve probably noticed that I have links to the print books, ebooks, and audiobooks in the footer of every blog post. This is for good reason, and it’s not an entirely selfless choice. Paul is a friend and former roommate from college, so when I heard that he was writing a…

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

The film The Nutcracker and the Four Realms most closely resembles is Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. Like it, this reinvention of the classic story overrelies on CGI effects, seems more concerned with creating a flashy-looking world than a working one, and throws its empty characters into a floppy storyline. Unlike the 2010 movie, this bad holiday pudding by Lasse Hallström and Joe Johnston has no chance of being fondly remembered, even by misguided fans. It’s so derivative of other works it fades from your memory as soon as the credits roll.

On Christmas Eve, Clara Stahlbaum (Mackenzie Foy) searches for a key that will open a music box left to her by her late mother. On its trail, she wanders into a magical world divided into four realms. All live in harmony, except for Mother Ginger (Helen Mirren) and her army of mice, who rule the realm formerly known as the land of Amusements. Along with Captain Philip Hoffman (Jayden Fowora-Knight, playing the titular Nutcracker… sort of), Clara sets out to find her key and restore order to the realm her mother discovered years ago.

It’s essentially a watered-down version of “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” minus the wonder, excitement or anything else that made it good. The residents of the four realms are ridiculous caricatures rather than living, breathing beings we should care about. The Land of Amusements is barren. There’s just a couple of “buildings”, which is supposed to be spooky - I think. Mother Ginger’s army of mice should fill us with terror but the rodents can barely come together to make one human-sized soldier, much less pose a threat. What do the realms need a savior from, again?

If I talk about a film’s running time, it’s usually because someone's overstaying their welcome. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms has the opposite problem. It’s way too short. By the time we're introduced to the major players, the world, the rules and the conflict, there’s no time for anything else. No one has any depth. The movie is about nothing more than Clara finding the key to her music box and stopping the threat during the final act. You don’t get to know her or the Nutcracker at all so it’s no surprise the two of them don’t get romantically engaged by the time the movie ends. They’re blocks of wood no one could get excited about.

There’s nothing for you to get invested in or fall in love with. Fan of Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite? There are a couple of brief dance sequences but before you get into it, writer Ashleigh Powell whisks away to witness another barrage of fantasy story cliches. Keira Knightley’s Sugar Plum Fairy is revealed to be the villain all long. Even if you didn’t see it coming, you won’t be shocked. Let her take over the world with her army of toy soldiers (so weak and impotent they make the Battle Droids from the Star Wars prequel trilogy look terrifying). Maybe then, something interesting will happen.

You could make a long list of everything about The Nutcracker and the Four Realms that feels off (Matthew Macfadyen is creepy and I don’t think he’s supposed to be) or doesn’t make sense but why bother? Even if the impressive visuals could make you overlook all of the flaws, no one would ever hold it close to their heart and call it a favourite. It’s dull and empty; as though it wasn’t even spawned by a committee or focus group, but by a machine. (December 27, 2019)